Spice. The Final Frontier.

These are the voyages of the U.S.S. Gormandise. Our 5 month mission to explore strange new curry houses, seek out new dishes.......

To boldly gorge where no one has gorged before!

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First there was The Original Series (TOS), where a band of intrepid curry seekers, a.k.a. the TOS-sers, fronted by the core away team of Captain Chat-ner and Mr Wok, roamed the Bhuna-verse in search of exotic dishes (of the edible kind). You can view the Captain's logs below.

However, times have moved on. It is rumoured that the Gulab Empire is losing it's grip in the Palmer Quadrant; Waiters of the Sardar System have become even more `non co-operative', and a strange new phenomenon has appeared via the world-wide-worm-hole.... we refer, of course, to the disembodied Balti-dimensional being know as `Joshi', who floats through the Bhuna-verse, accepting all major credit and debit cards.

For these reasons, the `Fed'-eration has deemed it timely to send out a new expedition. Headed by Captain Piquant, the U.S.S. Gormandise `D' will patrol Reading-sector for a period lasting approximately 5 months. Every 2 weeks (probably mid-week) it will beam down an away team to a predetermined planet (i.e. curry house). During each mission, we will each wave our tricorders over the matter we discover and relay our results to Mr Data. This information will then be fed into the ship's computer, and will be freely available for all to peruse.

Volunteers for each away team should assemble in Ten Forward, i.e. a pub, which will be named a few days before the mission.

Now, a word of WARNING!!! We've picked the analogy of a well known classic sci-fi series for purely light-hearted reasons. We do not - we repeat DO NOT - want you to turn up in full costume (exceptions may be made in the case of the mini-skirt uniforms of TOS) and mumble on about the specification of warp engines and all sorts of nerdy nonsense like that.

So: no plastic Spock Ears, Klingon Chocolate Cake head extensions; no pointing to your curry and saying `It's dead, Jim!'; and definitely no ripping your poncey yellow shirt off for the flimsiest of reasons (`Oh but Mr Wok, it is so hot in the Sardar Palace without the air-conditioning switched on'). Oh, and if anyone turns up wearing a red top, be careful: you'll be the one who ends up testing the Phal........

So, don't miss out on the chance of a culinary adventure, like none before. Volunteer for the Academy right now!

And let's see what's out there.....


The Original Series (2000)

3 Kathmundu Kitchen 18 Feb
2 Sardar Palace 12 Mar
5 Garden of Gulab 16 Mar
2 The Waterfall Spring 2000

The Next Regurgitation (2001)

3 The Khukuri 9 Oct
4 Garden of Gulab 19 Oct
2 The Saffron 7 Nov
3 The Raj 4 Dec

Deep Spice Naan (2002)

4 Standard Tandoori 13 Feb
3 House of Spice (Oxford) 5 Jun
3 India Palace 9 Jul
3 Sardar Palace 20 Sep
4 Spice Oven 10 Oct
4 Heart in Hand (Bourne End) 19 Oct
4 Blue Ginger 4 Dec

The Wrath of Naan (2003)

2 Devana Tandoori 7 May
5 Spice Oven Autumn 2003
3 The Gulshan 28 Nov

Indigestion (2004)

4 Sardar Palace 12 Dec

The Final Paneer (2005)

3 Sardar Palace 22 Apr
3 The Asha 27 May


Restaurants are assessed on a number of different criteria by our highly trained away team, and given a score out of five. The prestigious 5-Cobra Naan Trek Ring Stinger Award is our highest accolade.

One cobra Two cobras Three cobras Four cobras Five cobras

Absolutely dismal.

Much improvement required.

Mostly good, would consider going again.

Quality venue, excellence in certain areas. Recommended.

Fantastic all-round curry experience.

It is appreciated that all good restaurants can have the occasional bad day and so some reviews may not be representative of the average. We take our responsibilities very seriously and therefore endeavour to sample the cuisine of some venues over and over again.

If you have any comments on this page, feel free to email Mr Data (r.j.hogan@reading.ac.uk).
Go back to the home page of Mr Data (aka Robin Hogan).

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