The Khukuri

Sector: London Street
Stardate: Tuesday 9 October 2001
Event: First episode of The Next Regurgitation
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With a sense of excitement in the air our intrepid away team beamed down to the rendezvous point, an M-class pub known as Great Expectations (says it all really), to equip ourselves for the first adventure of our great quest. In accordance with our Prime Directive we set about consuming a few pints of fermented vegetable matter that the locals kindly replicated for us. In the spirit of the occasion, some members of the crew felt it appropriate to set their phasers to pun - while this was not universally welcomed it kept us engaged for a while.

AMBIANCE Get some decent music guys

Decor: Some stylish glass engravings and photographs, and the lighting was perfect. The room felt a bit like a corridor though.
Music: Naf 80's pop pap, "Very inauthentic s***" (Hogan).

SERVICE Could do better

Time to get served: Around 30 minutes.
Menu description: Fairly mundane and lacking information (e.g. Jalfrezi and Vindaloo were both described simply as "hot"), although there was plenty of historical content.

STARTERS NO LIME PICKLE!!!

Popadums and chutneys: Only three dips: "lumpy" mango chutney, "boring" sweet onions and fresh mint yoghurt. No spicy popadums.
Lime pickle: NO LIME PICKLE!!!
Onion bagees (2.25): Unusual "U.S.S. Enterprise saucer-section" shape, perfect crispy texture although a little bland in taste.

MAIN COURSES AND DESERTS Mostly OK

Chicken Biryani (7.10): "Very good except for the cucumber, 4/5" (Bouniol).
Chicken Jalfrezi: "Too hot" (Manu).
Vegetable Dansak (4.10): "Pleasantly surprising" (Dixon).
King Prawn Bhuna (8.25): "Parchingly hot at the expense of taste" (Hogan, the complete wus).
Lamb Patia (House Speciality 5.75) "Kicks butt, the best patia I've ever had" (Challinor).

MISCELLANEOUS
Buffet option Egg-fried rice Sweet Lassi Liqueur coffees Hot towels Sweets with bill

Key: Yes No Too drunk to remember

FINAL VERDICT

In most of the sub-catagories our away team reported deficiencies, and recommended a different CD, some quality lime pickle and a few more dishes like the Lamb Patia. However, none of us had an objectionable experience by any means, and the consensus rating for the Khukuri was 3 Cobras: